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Alternatives to Intercourse

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Alternatives to Intercourse
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See how sensuous non-penetrative sex can be. Learn about alternatives to intercourse like the VENIS technique -- Very Erotic Non-Insertive Sex, female sexual dysfunction, male erection problems, or safer sex due to STDs.

01:00:00 GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
contains content which is sexual in nature. It is not intended that any viewer rely on the content of the program for medical advice. If you believe you require medical or psychological advice or
treatment, please consult your doctor.
Berman & Berman for Women Only

01:00:11 GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
Berman & Berman

01:00:11 Laura Berman OC
A lot of women have vaginal intercourse because they think they're supposed to. But great sex is about more than just penetration.

01:00:17 Jennifer Berman OC
We're talking about Alternatives to Intercourse. Find out how you can take your partner on an erotic exploration when we show you how to go from intercourse to outercourse.

01:00:28 Laura Berman OC
We're Berman and Berman.

01:00:29 Jennifer Berman OC
And this is For Women Only.

01:00:32 GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
Berman & Berman for Women Only

01:00:51 Laura Berman OC
Hi and hello, welcome! We're talking about Alternatives to Intercourse.

01:00:57 Jennifer Berman OC
Or outercourse.

01:00:58 Laura Berman OC
Or commonly known as outercourse. She's been laughing at that.

01:01:00 Jennifer Berman OC
It's a word I've been stumbling over all morning.

01:01:03 Laura Berman OC
Outercourse.

01:01:03 Jennifer Berman OC
But it's really, it is important. In my practice as a urologist we see a lot of men with erection problems who can't have intercourse, so it's something that?

01:01:12 Laura Berman OC
Well from that perspective but also we get so stuck in thinking that sex, when you say sex everybody thinks intercourse or penetration. Sex is about a lot more than that. And in fact most women don't reach org, only 30 percent of women reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so?

01:01:28 Jennifer Berman OC
Other ways of arousal.

01:01:29 Laura Berman OC
So outercourse comes in handy in and of it itself.

01:01:32 Jennifer Berman OC
Yeah.

01:01:33 Laura Berman OC
Even when you're having intercourse.

01:01:34 Jennifer Berman OC
As part of foreplay?

01:01:35 Laura Berman OC
Right.

01:01:35 Jennifer Berman OC
?or as part of the whole.

01:01:36 Laura Berman OC
But we get really stuck on the idea that it's not really sex unless you're having intercourse and that's just not true. So we'll be talking about that today.

01:01:43 GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
Drs. Jennifer & Laura Berman

01:01:43 Jennifer Berman OC
Well I'm Jennifer Berman.

01:01:44 Laura Berman OC
And I'm Laura Berman. We run the Female Sexual Medicine Center at UCLA here in Los Angeles. I'm a sex therapist and Jennifer's a urologist.

01:01:52 Jennifer Berman OC/VO
And we're discussing Alternatives to Intercourse. For a lot of people having an orgasm is not possible due to female sexual dysfunction or in men, impotency, otherwise known as erectile dysfunction. So in addition, partners with sexually transmitted diseases are also faced with these challenges.

01:02:09 Laura Berman VO/OC
And some couples just want to increase arousal and intimacy and just not get stuck in that goal-oriented definition of sex. And one way to do this is something that we call Venis or very erotic non-insertive sex, and I actually teach this technique to our patients.

01:02:25 Jennifer Berman VO/OC
So we sent a box of goodies over to two people with interest in exploring the possibilities, Jason and Ruth, who are here with us today. They are waiting until marriage to have sex, and let's see how they react to all of this.

01:02:38 Ruth VO
We're very intimate, we're very physical but we're not sexual.

01:02:41 Jason VO
We express our love but we don't have to do it in a sexual way.

01:02:45 Ruth VO
And we say it a lot.

01:02:47 Jason OC
I love you.

01:02:48 Ruth OC
Yeah? I love you too.

01:02:51 Jason VO
We were both sexual in the past in other relationships, but learning from past experiences and past relationships it's almost, I don't want to call it magical but that magical moment, that special moment,
you know. And we'll wait, and it's worth waiting for, that's what we feel.

01:03:06 Ruth OC/VO
We're both very disciplined. And we just stick it, stick it out even when it's really, really hard. I was talking to a co-worker when she told me about something called Venis, which is pretty much sex without the sex. Venis stands for?

GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
Very erotic non insertive sex

?very erotic non-insertive sex, and it's everything erotic and sensual and sexual without the actual penetration, which is the part that we wanted to keep for that special day. Our assignment is to have a really great time and do what we've been doing even more. I think they told us we're in boot camp.

01:03:52 Ruth OC
This is our homework. Bubble bath?

01:03:55 Jason OC/VO
Bubble bath sounds good.

01:03:56 Ruth VO/OC
I think bubble bath will be so much fun. Sponges, that could be very good. Oh it's got batteries. It's got, oh! Here.

01:04:08 Jason OC
Wow!

01:04:09 Ruth VO/OC
Oh, there's some powder. I think these will feel really good just about everywhere.

01:04:15 Jason VO
Massage oils.

01:04:16 Ruth VO
I'm going first just in case I fall asleep.

01:04:19 Jason VO
Erotic videos.

01:04:19 Ruth VO/OC
Videos. Hey that will be good. We've never watched an erotic video together. I think it could be a little scary or a little strange because I was always told that that's a bad thing, but as long as we're with each other and sharing that I think you know we don't have to like it but trying it couldn't hurt. Candles, we could add to our collection. Lingerie.

01:04:41 Jason VO
Sexy lingerie.

01:04:43 Ruth OC/VO
Yeah I got a couple things. I go from very tame and mild to kind of a little kinky and fun. Body paints. That'll be on your sheet.

01:04:53 Jason VO
That could be a problem.

01:04:56 Ruth VO
Candy.

01:04:57 Jason VO
Body candy.

01:04:57 Ruth VO
Never done that. It sounds good.

01:04:59 Jason OC
Vibrators.

01:05:02 Ruth OC
Vibrators should be interesting.

01:05:02 Jason OC
Interesting.

01:05:04 Ruth VO
This is really strong.

01:05:06 Jason OC
I have no idea.

01:05:07 Ruth OC/VO
Wait, I have no idea. I'm sure there are instructions. Lots of sticky food, honey, fudge, caramel.

01:05:14 Jason VO
Yummy.

01:05:16 Ruth OC/VO
Cherries in the bellybutton and ice.

01:05:21 Jason OC
See you

.01:05:21 Ruth OC
I think at this point you all will leave.

01:05:23 Jason OC
Bye.

01:05:28 Jennifer Berman OC/VO
Hope you guys are getting married soon. Yeah.

01:05:31 Ruth OC
So do I.

01:05:32 Jennifer Berman VO/OC
There's a lot of heated foreplay going on.

01:05:34 Laura Berman OC
A lot of frothiness in addition to the bath, right. So welcome Jason and Ruth. Thanks for being here with us. So how did all that stuff go? What, what you think?

01:05:44 Jason OC
It was good.

01:05:46 Ruth OC
Exhausting.

01:05:47 Laura Berman VO/OC
Exhausting? What were your favorites, Ruth?

01:05:51 Ruth OC
My favorites, the bath, definitely the bath. The, the big yellow ball, it was a lot of fun.

01:05:57 Jennifer Berman VO
What did you like about the bath?

01:05:59 Laura Berman OC
Besides the big yellow ball.

01:06:02 Ruth OC
It was our first time in a bathtub together.

01:06:04 Jennifer Berman VO
Taking a bath together?

01:06:06 Ruth OC
And it was very romantic.

01:06:07 Laura Berman VO
Yeah.

01:06:08 Jennifer Berman VO/OC
And what about Jason, what did you like the most?

01:06:09 Jason VO/OC
You know actually the bath was also really good. She also used this massage cream the other night, which was also very good as well.

01:06:18 Laura Berman VO/OC
Yeah. And so you guys tried some things that you haven't tried before?

01:06:22 Ruth VO
Yeah.

01:06:23 Jennifer Berman VO
And the little vibrator?

01:06:26 Ruth OC
That was helpful.

01:06:31 Ruth OC
It was great. It was great.

01:06:32 Jennifer Berman VO/OC
Yeah? Had you ever used a vibrator before?

01:06:34 Ruth VO/OC
I had actually in the past used one, but?

01:06:38 Jennifer Berman VO
Not with him.

01:06:39 Ruth OC
Not with him.

01:06:39 Jennifer Berman VO/OC
And did you put it on him too?

01:06:42 Ruth OC
No.

01:06:43 Jason OC
Not that one.

01:06:43 Ruth OC/VO
Not that, the yellow ball.

01:06:45 Jennifer Berman VO
The yellow ball?

01:06:46 Laura Berman VO/OC
treatment. What about the videos, you said you've never watched a video before? What'd you think?

01:06:54 Jason OC
It's a different experience, definitely.

01:06:56 Laura Berman VO/OC
You actually watched I think some videos that were more oriented toward women than men?

01:07:01 Ruth OC
Yeah.

01:07:01 Laura Berman VO/OC
?is that right? So those sort of, mostly have more of a plot. Men sometimes get bored with them. Did you get bored?

01:07:08 Jason OC
I was fine.

01:07:10 Laura Berman VO/OC
What, did you like the videos or was it so-so?

01:07:13 Ruth VO/OC
Yeah I think it's fun. It was also our first time.

01:07:15 Laura Berman VO
All right.

01:07:16 Jennifer Berman VO
What didn't you like?

01:07:19 Ruth OC
There wasn't much we didn't like.

01:07:22 Laura Berman VO
That's good.

01:07:22 Jason VO
There were some things.

01:07:22 Jennifer Berman VO
The whips?

01:07:23 Jason VO/OC
We didn't try the whips. There were some things that were a little bit more intimidating that we weren't quite ready to try, so some of the stuff.

01:07:29 Jennifer Berman VO
Like, what were those?

01:07:30 Jason OC
There was a thing you gave us called a flashlight that was a little?

01:07:34 Ruth VO
Scary.

01:07:34 Jennifer Berman VO
What was the flashlight?

01:07:35 Laura Berman OC/VO
The flashlight is actually a, a device that men can use to stimulate themselves. It simulates a vagina and it looks like a flashlight. And it looks like a flashlight; it's in a case that looks like a flashlight, that's why they call it a flashlight. Was there anything else that you weren't crazy about, of the things you tried?

01:07:55 Ruth OC/VO
I'm neurotic so the body paints never came out of the box. There was no way that was happening. Other than that, no I think everything was a lot of fun.

01:08:04 Laura Berman VO
Right.

01:08:05 Jennifer Berman OC
Will you read to us from your Venus journal?

01:08:07 Jason VO/OC
Sure.

01:08:08 Laura Berman VO/OC
You wrote down some thoughts about things you've learned about yourself through the process and about each other, right? Okay.

01:08:14 Jennifer Berman OC
Let's have a hear.

01:08:15 Jason OC
Sure.

01:08:15 Laura Berman VO
Jason, you want to go first?

01:08:16 Ruth OC
Go first.

01:08:20 Ruth OC
It's my first time hearing it, so.

01:08:23 Jason VO/OC
"Ruth, every day is incredible with you. You make me feel loved and special all the time. Using these toys the last few days has really given us the chance to experience new things, and experience new feelings. And I want to continue learning, growing and having new experiences with you. I feel our love is growing deeper every day and I think, and I thank you for everything that you do for me."

01:08:52 Ruth OC
I wasn't expecting that.

01:08:52 Jennifer Berman VO

01:08:56 Ruth VO/OC
Okay. I wrote, "Having to experiment so much with Jason was great fun. I've always found him very erotic and extremely sensual, but the toys and lotions brought out, brought that to an even higher level. The best part was having to talk about all the things, deciding what to try and sharing our
experiences after the fact. I know now more than ever that Jason would do anything and everything for me. He has an open mind and the greatest heart. I don't think I could have done all these thing with anyone else but with him. It was all great and very natural and I'm very grateful.

01:09:27 Jennifer Berman VO
Wow! Well good!

01:09:30 Laura Berman OC
So you guys are gonna come back with us in the next segment we'll talk a little bit more. Next, more Alternatives to Intercourse with Jason and Ruth. And we'll take you to Venis and show you the mechanics of how to turn foreplay into a home run.

01:09:49 GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
Next The mechanics of Venis
Later from model to role model

01:10:00 FADE TO BLACK