If you’ve ever felt like your body isn’t quite the same after having kids or as you’ve gotten older, you’re not alone. It’s a conversation many of us are having in private, often leading to late-night searches for answers. This can be a minefield of misinformation, with countless articles promoting everything from dangerous vaginal steaming to ineffective “herbal remedies for vaginal tightening.” It’s time for a more honest and helpful discussion. We’re going to break down why these changes happen, what you can do at home to support your pelvic floor, and when it might be time to consider professional, non-invasive treatments that deliver real results.

Written by Risachi Ogan from Saji Sol Med

Why Your Sex Drive Changes (And What to Do About It)

Science might just have the answer. In the early 20s, you may find yourself feeling ‘hot-and-bothered’ as an elevated basal body temperature and breast tenderness signal that you are attractive and fertile. As you reach your 30s and early 40s, you will hit the peak of your sex drive. A 2010 study by Dr. Buss at the University of Texas found that women from 27 through 45 demonstrated the most frequent and intense erotic fantasies! [source] However, once you have kids, your body and hormones begin to change to meet its new demands. At some points, your libido might sky-rocket making you uncontrollably craving your partner, other times you might find yourself with a complete disinterest in sensual activities due to a lack of energy, time, or engagement. As women enter their 50s, the body once again undergoes changes like menopause and decreasing levels of estrogen. Think of your vagina as an elastic muscle, the natural changes that occur with age usually reduce the strength of the muscle and its surrounding connective tissues. Anyone experiencing perimenopause knows that these changes can lead to a noticeable drop in your libido usually followed by vaginal dryness, hot flashes, weight gain, and sleep issues. We often believe that the younger you are, the better your sex life must be – FALSE! Sex, especially for women, is largely mental. That is why is prioritizing your sexual health should be on your to-do list.

Understanding the Causes of Vaginal Changes

It’s completely normal for your body to change over time, and the vagina is no exception. Events like childbirth and the natural aging process, especially menopause, play a significant role. As one source puts it, “Vaginal looseness happens when the vaginal walls lose some of their natural stretchiness. The main reasons for vaginal looseness are getting older (less estrogen), going through menopause (hormone changes), and pregnancy and childbirth (muscles stretch and weaken).” These life stages can stretch and weaken the pelvic floor muscles and surrounding tissues. Hormonal shifts, particularly the decrease in estrogen during menopause, also contribute to changes in tissue elasticity and lubrication, which can affect sensation and comfort.

Understanding these factors is the first step toward addressing them. It’s not about reversing time, but about supporting your body so you can feel your best at every stage. Whether you’ve had children, are navigating menopause, or simply noticing changes as you get older, there are ways to manage these shifts. From targeted exercises to innovative medical treatments, you have options for maintaining your pelvic health and sexual wellness. Recognizing that these changes are a shared experience for many women can also be incredibly empowering, opening up conversations and solutions you may not have considered before.

How Childbirth and Aging Affect Pelvic Tissues

Childbirth is a monumental event that asks a lot of your body, particularly the pelvic floor. The muscles and connective tissues in the vaginal walls stretch to accommodate delivery, and sometimes they don’t fully return to their previous state. Similarly, the aging process brings its own set of changes. As we age, our bodies naturally produce less of certain key proteins that are responsible for keeping tissues firm and flexible. This is a universal experience, affecting everything from the skin on our face to the tissues within our pelvic region. These shifts are a normal part of a woman’s life journey, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept discomfort or a loss of confidence as your new normal.

The Role of Collagen and Elastin

So, what’s happening on a microscopic level? It largely comes down to two proteins: collagen and elastin. Think of collagen as the scaffolding that gives your tissues structure and firmness, while elastin provides the stretch and ability to bounce back. According to experts, “As women age, the production of collagen and elastin decreases, which can lead to a loss of elasticity in the vaginal walls and surrounding tissues.” This reduction is a key reason why you might notice changes in vaginal tone and laxity over time. Fortunately, modern treatments like Votiva and Morpheus 8-V are designed specifically to stimulate the body’s natural collagen production, helping to restore tissue health from the inside out.

The Connection Between Pelvic Floor Strength and Incontinence

Your pelvic floor is a powerful network of muscles that acts like a supportive sling for your bladder, uterus, and bowels. When these muscles are strong, they help you maintain control over urination and bowel movements. However, when they weaken due to factors like childbirth, aging, or chronic strain, you might start to experience issues like urinary incontinence—that little leak when you cough, sneeze, or laugh. It’s incredibly common, but it’s not something you just have to live with. As one gynecologist notes, simple lifestyle adjustments “might help improve pelvic floor muscle tone, which is crucial for preventing incontinence.” Strengthening these foundational muscles is key to improving bladder control and overall pelvic stability.

How Sexual Arousal Influences Sensation

It’s easy to assume that feelings of vaginal “looseness” or “tightness” are purely physical, but your mental and emotional state plays a huge role. Sexual arousal is a complex process that involves both the mind and body. When you’re feeling relaxed, connected, and turned on, blood flows to the pelvic region and the vaginal muscles relax and lengthen to prepare for intimacy. This is why, as one expert explains, “When you’re aroused, your muscles relax, making the vagina feel ‘looser.’ When you’re anxious, they tighten.” If you’re feeling stressed, disconnected, or experiencing a low libido, your body may not respond in the same way, which can affect sensation for both you and your partner.

Natural and At-Home Methods for Pelvic Health

Taking control of your pelvic health can start right at home. There are several effective, non-invasive methods you can incorporate into your daily routine to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and improve vaginal tone. These at-home strategies are all about consistency and listening to your body. By dedicating just a few minutes each day to targeted exercises and mindful lifestyle choices, you can build a stronger foundation for long-term pelvic wellness. These methods are not only accessible but also empower you to play an active role in your own health journey, helping you feel more connected to and in control of your body.

Pelvic Floor Exercises to Try at Home

When it comes to improving vaginal tone naturally, strengthening your pelvic floor is the most direct approach. These muscles are the foundation of your core, and just like any other muscle group, they benefit from regular exercise. As one wellness resource highlights, “The most effective way to naturally tighten vaginal walls is by doing special exercises that focus on the pelvic floor muscles.” These exercises, often called Kegels, help increase muscle strength, improve bladder control, and can even enhance sexual sensation. The best part is that you can do them anywhere, anytime, without anyone knowing. It’s a simple, powerful way to support your body’s strength from within.

Kegels, Glute Bridges, and Squats

To perform a Kegel, simply squeeze the same muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine. Hold for a few seconds, then release, and repeat. Aim for a few sets of 10-15 repetitions daily. To complement Kegels, add glute bridges and squats to your routine. For a glute bridge, lie on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor, and lift your hips toward the ceiling, squeezing your glutes and pelvic floor at the top. Squats are also fantastic for engaging your entire core and pelvic region. By incorporating these three exercises, you create a well-rounded routine that supports pelvic strength and overall stability.

Helpful Tools for Pelvic Muscle Training

If you’re looking for a little extra help with your pelvic floor exercises, there are tools designed to make them more effective. Think of them as personal trainers for your pelvic floor. These devices can help you ensure you’re targeting the right muscles and provide resistance to make your workouts more challenging over time. According to pelvic health experts, “Vaginal cones and electronic toners can be effective tools for strengthening pelvic floor muscles.” They offer a structured way to approach your exercises and can help you track your progress, which is great for staying motivated on your journey to a stronger pelvic floor.

Vaginal Cones and Electronic Toners

Vaginal cones are a set of small, weighted devices that you hold in place using your pelvic floor muscles. You start with the lightest cone and gradually work your way up to heavier ones as you get stronger. It’s a simple concept that provides clear feedback on your muscle engagement. Electronic toners, on the other hand, use gentle electrical stimulation to cause the pelvic floor muscles to contract and relax. This can be particularly helpful if you have trouble identifying or isolating these muscles on your own. Both tools serve the same goal: to help you build strength and tone more efficiently.

How Diet and Lifestyle Support Vaginal Wellness

What you eat and how you live can have a real impact on your pelvic and vaginal health. A balanced diet rich in phytoestrogens—plant-based compounds that mimic estrogen in the body—can be beneficial. Foods like flaxseeds, soy, and chickpeas can help support hormonal balance, especially during perimenopause and menopause. Staying hydrated is also crucial for maintaining healthy mucosal tissues. Furthermore, “Maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle can significantly impact vaginal health and pelvic floor strength.” A healthy weight reduces excess pressure on the pelvic floor, while regular, low-impact exercise like walking or swimming improves circulation and overall muscle tone.

A Guide to Herbal Remedies and Safety Warnings

The internet is full of advice on herbal remedies and “natural” solutions for everything, including vaginal tightening. While the idea of using ancient herbs can sound appealing, it’s important to approach these claims with a healthy dose of skepticism. Many of these so-called remedies lack scientific evidence and, in some cases, can do more harm than good. Your vaginal ecosystem is a delicate balance of pH and healthy bacteria, and introducing foreign substances can easily disrupt it. Before trying any herbal supplement or topical product, it’s essential to understand the potential risks and to prioritize your health and safety above all else.

Herbal Approaches for General Vaginal Health

You may have heard about herbs like oak gall, curcumin, or aloe vera being used for vaginal health. While some of these have been used in traditional medicine for centuries, their direct effect on vaginal “tightness” is not supported by robust scientific research. As one clinic notes, “While some herbs are traditionally used for women’s health, their specific effectiveness and safety for intimate vaginal care are not always well-researched.” These herbs might have anti-inflammatory or antioxidant properties, but applying them directly or ingesting them for this specific purpose could be ineffective or even unsafe. It’s always best to consult with a healthcare professional like Dr. Berman before trying any new supplement.

The Risks of “Detox” Methods and Vaginal Steaming

Two trends that have gained popularity online are vaginal “detox” products (like herbal pearls) and vaginal steaming. Health experts strongly advise against both. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ and does not require “detoxing.” In fact, these products can be incredibly dangerous. As one source warns, “They can upset the natural balance of good bacteria in the vagina, leading to infections like yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis.” Vaginal steaming poses a risk of burns to the delicate tissues and has no proven benefits. Instead of relying on unproven and risky trends, it’s far safer to explore clinically-proven treatments that are backed by science and administered by medical experts.

What is Votiva Vaginal Rejuvenation?

A painless non-invasive treatment, Votiva uses radiofrequency energy waves to heat and stimulate epithelial cells, increase collagen and elastin fiber production, and aid in attacking internal and external vaginal health issues. Using targeted heat waves on the configuration of the extracellular matrix, Votiva works to increase the blood flow and sensitivity. Never thought you’d be worried about a durable vaginal wall? Well, you should be.

“The labia may become less plump as estrogen levels wane, fatty pads in the labia shrink, and less collagen can lead to more sagging,” Dr. Rankin says. “The skin of the vulva may darken or lighten and the clitoris may shrink. It’s normal either way.” Scary? Nah. “These changes, which are often related to decreasing levels of estrogen…”

Expert of article by Sarah Jio for Woma’s Day: Read Article

Restore Confidence and Address External Changes

Just like the skin on your face and neck, the external vaginal skin cells develop wrinkles and lose elasticity as we age. Research on changes during the postpartum body reveal that a “post child birth vagina does not look much different than it was before as much as it feels different”. [Woman’s Day] In other words, many of our perceptions about our yonis are based on our mental, emotional, and even spiritual relationships with our bodies. Feeling uncomfortable? Hundreds of articles, memoirs, or shared stories from women highlight the stigmas surrounding women’s health and sexual wellness. This leaves most of us afraid to have these typically ‘awkward’ conversations –but not Dr. Berman. By devoting at least 15-minutes each month to your Votiva treatment, you essentially tell your mind and body that you respect your vag and salute your sag. The real difference will appear in your confidence in the bedroom.

Can Votiva Help with Vaginal Dryness?

Lubrication along with hormones are a typical prescription for women with vaginal dryness, low libido, menopause, or other health conditions that cause sexual dysfunction. While these are viable methods to treat the symptoms of the problem, Votiva revitalizes your vaginal and vulva cells through an increased flow of blood and collagen formation to these areas. This improves the cell’s ability to produce the necessary secretions for you to have a more pleasant experience. Women in menopause know that the thinning of vaginal tissue and decrease in vaginal secretions heavily impacts self-esteem, well-being, and pleasure in sensual activities. Prioritizing and maintaining healthy vaginal tissue is key to having a sultry and satisfying sex life.

Alternative Medical and Professional Treatments

When at-home exercises and lifestyle changes aren’t providing the results you want, it’s helpful to know what professional treatments are available. The world of women’s sexual health has seen incredible advancements, offering a range of solutions that can address concerns from laxity and dryness to incontinence and low sensation. These medical-grade options are designed to provide more significant and lasting results by targeting the underlying physiological causes of these changes. Consulting with a specialist is the best way to understand which path is right for your body and your goals, ensuring you receive safe, effective, and personalized care for your intimate wellness.

Dispelling the Myth of a “Magic” Tightening Pill or Cream

Let’s clear the air on a common misconception you might see online. While many products promise instant results, the truth is, “there isn’t a specific pill, cream, or medicine that can directly tighten the vagina.” The vaginal canal is a complex muscular tube, and its tone is related to muscle strength and collagen integrity, not something a topical cream can permanently alter. Some products might cause temporary swelling that creates a fleeting sensation of tightness, but they don’t address the root cause. Instead of searching for a quick fix, it’s more effective to explore treatments that genuinely restore tissue and strengthen muscles for long-term health.

Other Non-Surgical Options for Vaginal Rejuvenation

For women who want noticeable results without undergoing surgery, several innovative, non-invasive treatments are available. These procedures use advanced technology to stimulate your body’s natural healing processes, helping to restore tone, improve lubrication, and enhance sensation from the inside out. They are typically performed in a doctor’s office with minimal to no downtime, making them a convenient and effective way to address common concerns that arise from childbirth and aging. These options focus on rebuilding collagen and strengthening the pelvic floor for lasting benefits that support your overall sexual health.

The O-Shot

One of the most popular non-surgical treatments is the O-Shot, a procedure that uses your body’s own healing power. It involves drawing a small amount of your blood and processing it to create platelet-rich plasma (PRP), which is full of growth factors. This PRP is then carefully injected into the clitoral and vaginal areas to help your body generate new tissue, including collagen, blood vessels, and nerve endings. Many women find that this treatment leads to increased sensitivity, stronger orgasms, better natural lubrication, and even a reduction in urinary incontinence.

Emsella Chair

If you struggle with incontinence or feel your pelvic floor is weak, the Emsella chair offers a groundbreaking solution. You simply sit on the chair, fully clothed, for a session that lasts about 30 minutes. The chair uses high-intensity electromagnetic technology to induce thousands of powerful pelvic floor muscle contractions. A single session is like doing 11,000 Kegel exercises, strengthening the muscles that support your bladder and pelvic organs far more effectively than you could on your own. It’s a completely non-invasive way to regain control and confidence.

Surgical Options to Consider

In cases where there is significant vaginal laxity, often after multiple childbirths, surgical intervention may be an option to consider. These procedures are more invasive and require a longer recovery period, but they can provide dramatic and permanent results for women whose concerns cannot be fully addressed with non-surgical methods. Making the decision to undergo surgery is a significant one, and it always begins with a thorough consultation with a qualified specialist who can assess your individual situation and discuss the potential outcomes and risks involved in the procedure.

Vaginoplasty

For women experiencing significant laxity that impacts sexual satisfaction, vaginoplasty is a surgical procedure designed to tighten the vaginal canal. A surgeon removes excess vaginal lining and tightens the surrounding muscles and soft tissues to restore the structure of the vagina. This procedure is typically recommended when non-surgical options are not sufficient to address the degree of change. Because it is a major surgery, it requires careful consideration and a detailed discussion with a gynecologist or plastic surgeon to ensure it’s the right choice for your body and health goals.

Important FDA Guidance on Energy-Based Devices

Many non-surgical treatments use energy-based devices, like radiofrequency or lasers, to promote collagen production and rejuvenate vaginal tissue. While many of these are safe, the FDA has warned about the “unknown risks and side effects like scarring, burns, painful sex, and long-lasting pain” associated with some devices. This makes it crucial to choose a provider who uses proven, FDA-cleared technology and has extensive experience in women’s sexual health. A knowledgeable expert like Dr. Berman can guide you toward safe and effective treatments, such as Votiva, which uses uniform radiofrequency heat to safely remodel tissue and address your concerns.

What to Expect From Your Votiva Treatment

Every strong woman knows that investing in yourself is always the best investment. Just as regularly engaging in sexual activities keeps the sensitive vaginal tissue healthy and durable, Votiva treatments can support improvement of the ‘muscle memory’ of your yoni. Too often, society conditions us to see reproduction as the main purpose of the vagina. However, a consistent reminder of its value beyond reproduction acts as a powerful positive cue for your confidence and your sex drive. For menopausal women, when Votiva is paired with medically prescribed bio-identical hormones, the result combats the usual decrease in estrogen, serotonin and norepinephrine that causes irritability, forgetfulness, fatigue and depression. Although Votiva is a quick and easy solution to boost your sex life, quality results from the treatment usually requires at least three sessions and takes 2-to-3 weeks to notice a visible difference in restoring external tissues and vaginal tightness. Interested in learning more about this procedure? Reach out to Dr. Berman’s office to schedule your consultation at administrator@drjennberman.com.

Frequently Asked Questions

I’ve started doing Kegels and other pelvic floor exercises. How long will it take to notice a difference? Consistency is everything when it comes to pelvic floor exercises. If you’re doing them correctly and regularly, you might start to feel a change in muscle control and strength within a few weeks to a few months. Think of it like any other workout routine—results don’t happen overnight. The goal is to build a strong foundation for your pelvic health, which can improve bladder control and sensation over time.

There are a few professional treatments mentioned, like Votiva and the O-Shot. How do I know which one is right for me? That’s a great question, and the answer is truly personal. Each treatment targets slightly different concerns. For example, Votiva is excellent for addressing tissue laxity and dryness by stimulating collagen, while the Emsella chair focuses entirely on strengthening the pelvic floor muscles to help with incontinence. The best first step is to have an open conversation with a specialist who can listen to your specific concerns and guide you toward the treatment that aligns with your body and your goals.

You mentioned Votiva is a non-invasive treatment. What does it actually feel like, and is there any downtime? Most women describe the Votiva treatment as a comfortable, gentle warming sensation. It’s designed to be a painless procedure performed right in the doctor’s office. One of the best parts is that there is typically no downtime required. You can usually return to your normal daily activities, including intercourse, on the same day. It’s a straightforward way to address internal and external tissue health without a long recovery period.

With so many products and treatments out there, how can I be sure I’m choosing a safe option? It’s smart to be cautious. The safest path is always to work with a qualified medical professional who specializes in women’s sexual health. They will only use clinically-proven, FDA-cleared technologies and can explain the science behind how they work. Steer clear of online “quick fixes” like herbal pearls or creams that make big promises without scientific backing, as these can often cause irritation or infection.

My main concern is my low sex drive. Can physical treatments really help if the issue feels more mental or emotional? This is such an important point because sexual wellness is about both mind and body. While a low libido can have deep emotional roots, physical discomfort can absolutely contribute to a lack of desire. When issues like dryness, pain, or a change in sensation make intimacy unpleasant, your brain naturally starts to lose interest. By addressing the physical side with treatments that restore tissue health and improve comfort, you can remove those barriers, which often helps you feel more confident, relaxed, and receptive to intimacy again.

Key Takeaways

  • Pelvic floor exercises are your first step: You can improve vaginal tone and bladder control right at home. A consistent routine of Kegels, glute bridges, and squats strengthens the foundational muscles supporting your pelvic organs, which can also lead to better sensation.
  • Skip the internet fads and quick fixes: Be wary of unproven remedies like vaginal steaming or “detox” products. These can disrupt your body’s natural balance and cause harm. Lasting vaginal health comes from supporting your body, not experimenting with risky trends.
  • Modern treatments offer science-backed results: When at-home methods aren’t enough, non-invasive procedures like Votiva, the O-Shot, and Emsella can help. They work by stimulating your body’s natural collagen and strengthening muscles to effectively address concerns like laxity, dryness, and incontinence.

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